


bright lights turn me green (this is worse than it seems);

by hizzie



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, and i think evie is kinda crazy cos she likes mal but like who knows really, and she also really hates her life and also her friends, this has no real plot other than mal is a mall elf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21961915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hizzie/pseuds/hizzie
Summary: Mal gets a job as a mall elf.or, day 12 of deardescendants' 12 days of holidays.
Relationships: Evie & Mal (Disney), Evie/Mal (Disney)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 64
Collections: DearDescendants' 12 Days of Holidays





	bright lights turn me green (this is worse than it seems);

**Author's Note:**

> oop!! last one!! can't believe i managed to go through it!! this one is like. not good at all but it's something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mal like, legitimately thinks that if she comitted murder on someone -- say, her best friend, Jay, who definitely thinks Mal can’t see him from where he stands at the end of the line to see Santa,  _ again,  _ just so he can take yet another picture of Mal in this god-awful-terrible-no-good-at-all-completey-humiliating Elf outfit --, she’d be absolved by the system. Like, definitely, right? It totally counts as like, self defense, or whatever. 

Another kid points at her from where they stand with their parents and Mal forces a smile - dude, she like, fucking hates herself right now. She doesn’t hate kids - quite a common misconception, actually. People think Mal hates children, which is very far from the truth. She literally babysits Celia every once in a while. (But also, Celia is cool as hell and totally not like most kids, so maybe Mal doesn’t really have an argument there. But she doesn’t despise kids. She thinks they’re okay). 

But dude, when she’s wearing pointy ears and a stupid red and green outfit and standing in place for like, three hours next to this Santa that really does smell like alcohol, kids will point at her and she’ll not care for that shit like,  _ at all. _

Mal hates that she’s taken this job, most of all. She’s not sure why, exactly, other than capitalism is a disease and she definitely needed like, a good amount of money to pay off this fine that may or may not have been totally justified because she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to park in this specific place, even though Mal definitely saw a sign that told her so, but she’d ignored it because she really needed to get those chocolate bars that were on sale. She’d argue that it was a pre-existing condition, as she was a woman on her period and she like,  _ fucking really needed  _ that chocolate. But the justice system apparently hates women, so, she’d still had to pay for that fine, and her dad had told her it would be a cold day in hell before he gave her money because she cannot read signs. 

_ So _ , mall Elf it was.

And okay, maybe she could’ve gotten another job, but this one had come fairly easily -- it’d been offered. And in any other day, Mal would’ve been fucking pissed at the dude that approached her asking if she was interested in dressing up as an Elf, because,  _ come on, she’s not even that small,  _ but as aforementioned, capitalism is a disease, so it’d been an easy yes. 

So, now she’s standing here, forcing out smiles at children and dealing with this drunk mall Santa and literally feeling like putting those plastic candy canes to use to just beat the living shit out of Jay, who’s smiling widely as he approaches the beginning of the line. 

This is the third time he’s done this, basically having memorized Mal’s schedule, and the blonde was really fucking over it and thinking that she definitely needed better friends.

_ At least Uma is away for the holidays,  _ she thinks, because hey, sometimes not everything is fucked.

“Ho, ho - oh, it’s you again,” Mall Santa, Mal thinks his name is Jeff or something annoying like that, says to Jay. Jay smiles. “You’re not gonna sit on my lap again, are you, man?”

“Sure am,” Jay smiles as he walks over and does just as he said. Drunk Santa sighs. “Hey, aren’t you gonna ask what I want for Christmas?”

“No,” Santa says, but Jay ignores him.

“I want your Elf to be in my picture this time. I noticed she walked away last time, and it’s gonna ruin my collection for 12 Days of Christmas.”

“You don’t even celebrate Christmas,” Mal grumbles, annoyed, and Jay ignores her, as well.

“Okay, now, on three,” Jay directs the photographer, and the man smiles, amused, and nods. She glares at the camera as Jay smiles widely from where he sits and then the picture is taken. “Alright, thank you, guys.”

“Fuck you, Jay.” Mal says, because sometimes she likes to speak from the heart. Jay gives her a disappointed look and shakes his head.

“Santa, I think you might want to have a talk to your Grumpy Elf,” He says, “Saying such words next to children… I wouldn’t.”

“She could shoot me right now and I wouldn’t give a shit, son,” Drunk Santa, or Jeff, tells Jay with a sigh and Mal smiles. At least she’s not the only one having a crappy time.

“Well, that’s not disturbing at all,” Jay says with a shrug, and then he’s waving goodbyes as he takes the pass from the photographer to get his picture. Mal rolls her eyes and forces a smile when a small redhair kid walks up the stairs to meet Santa. 

Another 20 minutes of this, and then she’ll be able to sit the fuck down and wallow in her Christmas-y nightmare for an hour. 

-

Mal guesses there are other places she could be spending her break in, but she’d found out way earlier that the employee’s only hallway led straight to the movie theater’s rooms, so. Catching the newest horror movie halfway through for the third time that week wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t so bad either. She guesses the beginning of the movie might be as good as the ending. 

She sets an alarm for precisely half an hour -- that’s usually when the movie ends, and that’s also ten minutes before her break ends. Just the right amount of time for her to haul ass out of the room and make it back. 

But, then, of course, the hours that Mal had spent awake cussing Jay out for getting them killed on Friday the 13th -- because you know, Christmas -- by some 12 year old kid from Switzerland who’d been lucky enough to get Jason had caught up with her, and Mal slept through the alarm, naturally.

She wakes up, though, when she feels her shoulder being shaken and someone trying to get her attention. 

“Hey, Elf, wake up.”

She grumbles, blinking sleepily, and then she gapes.

“Oh, holy shit, did I die?” She asks, because she’d just been asleep and she’s stupid when she wakes up. The girl leaning over her wearing the cinema uniform frowns.

“What? No, you just fell asleep,” The brunette girl tells her. “And I think you slept through your alarms.”

“Huh?” 

“Your alarms. You know, the ones you set like everyday so you can make a run for it before the lights come on?”

Mal blinks. “Uh-”

“Yeah, sorry, but I see you like, everyday. It’s kinda hard to miss an Elf sleeping in the back of a dark room.” 

“Right.” Mal nods, glancing around her. The lights are on and the room is completely empty - save from her and the other girl. Mal takes that moment then to take a better look at the girl in front of her. She’s like, really hot -- not like, temperature wise, because Mal’s actually feeling pretty chilly because she totally forgot her coat. The girl is like, way too pretty to be someone Mal sees in real life -- she looks like the kinda person that should only be in like, pictures and magazines and not interacting with actual sleepy gremlin slash elves like, say, Mal. 

“Did you fall asleep with your eyes open?” The girl asks, and Mal blinks again. “Oh, sorry, it’s just… you were silent for a few minutes, there.” 

“Sorry, my brain is resetting,” Mal responds, voice hoarse, and the girl nods. Mal’s eyes catch sight of the nametag on the girl’s shirt and she repeats out loud, like a whole first grader that learned how to read, “Evie.”

“Yeah?” 

“Oh, um, nice name. I’m Mal,” The blonde tells her, and then she realizes that she’s just been sitting there and there’s definitely a drunk Santa Claus looking for his Elf. “And I’m so late.”

“Right,” Evie nods, stepping aside so Mal can walk out. The blonde is suddenly very aware that she’s wearing pointy shoes. She hopes Evie hasn’t noticed them.

“Nice shoes.” Evie notices, and Mal nods.

“Thanks.” 

“Do you wanna - I mean, are you gonna leave through the same way you came in or are you gonna walk out through the front?”

“Um, same way I came in, if that’s okay, thank you.” Mal responds quietly, suddenly feeling like she’s about to make the walk of shame.

“Yeah, sure.” Mal nods and begins to walk away, and then she hears Evie call her name. She turns around.

“Your hat.” Evie says, holding out the green pointy hat she’d removed so she could sleep. She flushes (because this is like, lowkey highkey extremely humiliating).

“Cool, thanks,” Mal takes it and then puts it on. Evie is watching her with these amused eyes that make Mal want to ask, “What?”

“It’s just -- are you doing anything tonight?” 

“Um, probably getting killed by Jason again, why?” 

Evie blinks and then nods, as if deciding to ignore that -- which, you know, smart --, and then she shocks Mal, “So, do you wanna get something to eat after your shift?”

“You’re --” Mal pauses, then frowns, “You’re like, asking me out?”

“Yeah.”

Mal blinks.

“Why would you do that?” Like, Mal doesn’t think she’s ugly, but she’s also practically doing a Will Ferrell in Elf cosplay, so. You know, realism.

“Because…” Evie trails off, and then she shrugs, “I think you’re cute.”

“Oh. Okay,” Mal nods. She guesses that that would be enough reason to ask someone out -- not for her, definitely not, but like, to other people, maybe. “Um, sure, yeah. I end my shift at 6.” 

“Cool, me too.” 

“Okay, cool,” Mal nods. And then, “Um, I should like, go-”

“Oh, yeah, go ahead,” Evie nods, “Santa must be waiting.”

Mal grimaces. Santa had his break an hour ago also, which probably means that he’s definitely passed by the food court and renewed his supplies for his own version of a Russian Christmas - which means, he’s probably near blacking out from all the vodka he’s been drinking since 10AM. Usually, Mal would be worried that he’s clearly an alcoholic man, but like -- he said he’s russian. And she’s never been to Russia, but she’s heard things. 

So, you know.

“Right, yeah,” Mal nods, beginning to walk away. “So, I’ll see you later, then.”

“Alright, bye Mal.” 

“Bye.” 

And then Mal’s walking back to her job, and then she’s standing near Jeff, who’s definitely,  _ definitely  _ drunker than he’d been before, and then she’s thinking that dude, if she makes it through, she’ll be one lucky Elf. Not in the way that she’ll like -- you know,  _ get lucky  _ or anything like that, probably not, but like -- you know. 

Her happiness lasts for about fifteen minutes, and she even like, smiles at some kids and means it before she’s angry again -- she sees Jay, and this time, Ben’s with him at the end of the line, and she thinks that maybe she might as well just have to get arrested in the name of beating the actual living shit out of two of her only three friends. 

“Merry Christmas!” Jay exclaims with a big smile. Ben just looks happy to be there.

Yeah, dude, fuck this.

Mal grabs a candy cane.

__

**Author's Note:**

> comments make me happy! find me at @eviegrimhildes on tumblr <3 merry christmas!


End file.
